Author: Virginia

The other day (Friday, to be specific), I purchased a bottle of organic peach flavored kefir* from the Metro Market. Friday was April 21st. On Tuesday, I opened the bottle, tasted it, noticed it tasted funny, read the expiration date, and saw that it was April 10th. Yech. So last night, I let the Metro… Continue reading Rivers of Acidophilus

(Pun intended! Read on…) So you know how they have “Bring Your Child To Work Day” coming up soon here? Well, I think we should make a minor adjustment (har, har) and also stretch it to incorporate “Bring Someone Else’s Child To Work Day” instead. Namely, I’d like to abduct this child. And hell, I’d… Continue reading A Minor Adjustment

Seriously, I need a shotgun (and, uh, someone to show me how to use it). There are a bunch of little birdies that like to start a’chirpin RIIIIGHT outside my bedroom window a couple of feet from my head every morning once the sun starts thinkin’ about rising, and that, in truth, I could handle.… Continue reading Die little birdie

Like Punk’d, only worse, in my case. Let the record state that I was not prepared.

Ugh… I’ve been sickity sick with an awful ickiness that ate up my weekend. I was so bummed I didn’t get to do fun things in the sun cuz I was stuck in bed. Bleh. But anywho, I’ll be back at work, better or not, as this is the last of my sick time… think… Continue reading Sickity Sick Sick Sick

So I just heard a strange, music-like noise in the background as I was half-watching the Simpsons, half-reading the mail. It sounded like someone else’s cell phone ringing in another room, but I’m home alone so it couldn’t be. And then I realized – it’s the ICE CREAM TRUCK!!! For a minute I had this… Continue reading The true mark of age

…with fresh strawberries and maple vanilla whipped cream. Mmmmmm, tastes like VACATION!

Most folks who know me know I am a complete sucker for a good pun. That bakery “Grateful Bread”, that massage store “All You Knead” – these folks are my idols. Puns are great. They’re why “Off Culler” is “Off Culler” and not “Dear Virginia” or something. But you know what? There is a line,… Continue reading Sucker for a pun

This morning as I was heading to meet up with a friend to hit the gym, I decided to swing by Scarecrow and drop off the movie I had rented last night when I finally got around to opening up an account there. So I meander down 50th, which is largely empty as it’s 6:40… Continue reading Scapegoat Video (TM)

Yeah, so I didn’t get the job… I’m pretty darn disappointed at the moment, though supremely confident that it will pass eventually. In the meantime… yep, still disappointed. But they basically told me that what I lacked, and what the other candidate possessed, was “experience writing about really arcane industries” – so that’s not exactly… Continue reading Blogs: “Bad News Made Easy”