… So I had my first official confirmation that professional-type folks actually read my blog. So, dear Potential Employers, please just let me say a few words on the subject:
1). While I am indeed extremely disgruntled in my current position, that is in no way an indicator of my workplace morale in general. It’s just that I’m a duck stuck in a chicken coop, ya know?
2). I don’t usually blog at work. I never did for months. It’s really only been since I made the decision that this job was not for me, and even then, trust me – I’m a hella fast typist, and it’s not as great a waste of time as it probably seems. For the record. And I will not blog at all at work if you hire me. Guaranteed. Unless, of course, you’re cool with it. In which case, you and your company will get favorable mentions in my blog.
3). I apologize for any swear words you may encounter upon perusing this blog. I promise to do my best to keep those out of your workplace, and you will NEVER hear me swear in front of (or at, for that matter) a client. It’s just that sometimes swear words serve their purpose, you know? Mark Twain agrees with me, for the record.
4). I will be so much fun if you hire me. Not only will I do a great job, but I will bring a smile and flair to your office that I promise you will appreciate, unless you are in fact a robot. Even in that case, I have experience working for robots!
5). Sometimes I bring baked goods to work. And they’re usually organic and made from scratch. This is in no way meant as a bribe; I simply want you to have all the facts so you can make an informed decision.
Thank you very much.
Your future marketing/advertising/PR/writing/editing assistant,
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