Live from Virginia (pun intended)

???I just enjoyed a wonderful dinner [1] with much wine, and then a long soak in a hot tub.?? Yesssssss.

So when I first came to my hotel’s “business center” to do a little email business, the private party in the adjacent room was blasting Greek techno??(I know because I recognized the words for “please” and “very” [2]), and then they played “Unforgettable”, and then transitioned smoothly into some KC and the Sunshine Band (Do a Little Dance… you know the one).?? Now it’s “Bad Girls”.?? I have half a mind to crash and find out what the hell kind of “Private Function” this is, because all I remember seeing on the events board was a Deloitte & Touche teambuilding meeting, and I’m never going to stop laughing if this is how they officially “teambuild”.?? Yessss, I so want to be an accountant now.

So anyway, my adorable cousin is getting married tomorrow.?? It???s a traditional Southern Scandal because she apparently only met the groom a few months ago, namely seven, and he only proposed in August, and now they???re getting married, and this is apparently not proper.?? But hey, I???m all for it these days ??? I could use the tax breaks and warm bed.?? Plus I have this kind of freaky habit of catching bouquets at weddings.?? And yet other people keep getting married first, which seems off.?? Any takers out there??? Potential husbands, please post in ???comments??? section with your height; weight; sun, ascendant and moon signs; and estimated net worth.

JUST KIDDING! I don???t care about your net worth.

So anywho, I realize it???s weird to blog from a hotel ???business center??? now isn???t it??? (now it???s ???Aaah??? Freak out?????? wait, that just ended, now it???s ???Celebrate??? those times ??? come on!) but see it???s weird for me to a) go to VA on very short notice; b) travel with my Dad ever, especially when it’s not in Appalachia while sleeping in mouse-infested hiking shelters and/or copperhead-infested tent sites and consuming entirely dehydrated REI food; c) let someone else pay for the majority of my travel now that I???m a grownup; and d) spend so much time in close quarters with family, especially this side of my family.?? So I thought I???d indulge in some nice therapeutic blogging.?? With a campy disco soundtrack.

O-kay, I guess this blogstream is over now.?? Time to get back to listening to my dad snore and reading “Brick Lane” (which is??great, you’re right, thanks Jen)??and??having to change while ducked behind an armchair covered in my clothing.?? I brought about ten outfits for a total of 2 ?? days and I’m getting my hair done at some salon in the mall tomorrow.?? I love being female sometimes.?? Just wish we didn’t have to wear nylons.

Parting notes: I love weddings.?? I am tipsy on a lovely low-tannin red wine of which I consumed more than half a bottle and one of the hotel party-staffers just came in and hit on me.?? Life cracks me up sometimes.?? Ha.

P.S.?? It is ninety-five degrees in this business center.?? Sweet Jesus.

P.P.S.?? Now it’s Elvis Crespo’s “Suavemente” – as much as this reminds me of getting molested at a Nicaraguan dance party in high school, I love this song.?? Ah, I wish I could remember the merengue.?? Goodnight, Imaginary Readers.?? Hasta pronto.

P.P.P.S.?? – I inspired her, in part??:)?? Also, she’s hilarious, so it’ll be worth reading.

P.P.P.P.S.?? THE ELECTRIC SLIDE!?? (Boogie-woogie-woogie!)

[1] Said dinner consisted of a delicious 2002 Cab Sauv-Franc/Merlot, a very rare fillet mignon, a baked potato with everything, and an cr??me brul??e ??? the kind with an Am??lie-esque breakable burnt sugar crust and little flecks of vanilla bean throughout and not too much egg flavor ??? and I tell ya, it???s a crying shame that all my favorite things happen to be awful for my ragingly high cholesterol.?? And/or it???s possible that I have cause and effect somewhat reversed on this one.?? And now they???re playing Nelly, but not that good song about fly bitches riding with me.?? Just other Nelly.

[2] I only know Useful Tourist Greek because my uncle has a house there – sort of, it’s falling apart and he’s going bankrupt – anyway, and all the Greeks think I’m German because I guess they get??a lot of German tourists there, even though the Germans bombed the shit out of that island during the war, and thus aren’t that well-received, go figure; so anyway they mostly talk to me in German and my German is nicht so gut but anywho, there you have it, I have to practice two languages when I visit Greece.?? Good thing I live for that sort of challenge.?? Oooh it’s “You Look Wonderful Tonight”!?? Thanks, Eric.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *