So this is a very random and somewhat narcissistic and compound revelation from last Friday, as well as today (hence the compound) about how I’ll be remembered after I’m dead, if I’m ever famous enough for such little details to be remembered (hence the narcissistic). So here goes: I’m building up a pretty extensive library, what with the book club and the general bibliophilia, and I realized there’s something characteristic about almost all of the books I own: they all have water damage on the pages because 1) I live in Seattle which is a) rainy and b) devoid of public transportation other than buses, and I always read at the bus stop waiting for the very late bus and standing out in the open as they don’t build nearly enough rain-proof shelter areas given that this is SEATTLE and all, and thus many of my books get rained in during said waiting and reading period; and 2) I always cry at the sad parts (and sometimes the happy parts) and thus spill tears all over the pages.
And I’ll tell you, as an aside, that it’s hella awkward and embarrassing to tear up over a book while ON the bus. I always do it (did it about half an hour ago on my way in – SUCH a sad ending) and then I always get embarrassed and then I move instantly to amused, so then I start CHUCKLING at myself, and then I’m the crazy lady on the bus who cries AND LAUGHS, TO HERSELF – and no one wants to sit by that lady. Guess I’ll have more seatroom if I keep this up. Can anyone recommend any good REALLY SAD books? Heh heh.
It’s funny, though, because I never used to be an open sobber like that.?? I’ve definitely grown into my emotional skin over the years – I sort of realized this on Saturday when my roommate walked in on me crying over an episode of Gilmore Girls (shut up) and I was laughing about how I bawl like a baby at LEAST once for every four-episode DVD, and she was like, well, you’re a very emotional person (she being not so much of that persuasion, and least not as, ahem, openly as me) and I kind of laughed and I said, if you’d known me in high school you wouldn’t think I was the same person.?? I mean, I had this whole macho-persona thing going and I hardly ever cried, for YEARS.?? All I can say is, it feels really good to be able to let that floodgate loose, even if it DOES mean I’m Crazy Bus Lady.?? Wouldn’t trade it for anything.?? Sniff.??