Word Salad

I recently got a copy of Dragon NaturallySpeaking, so I could type by dictation. (This decision arose partly from recurring tennis elbow that makes typing painful, and partly from my frustratingly long commutes from Redmond.) I thought I could dictate the text of the book I’m working on for my online dating consultation company while I was stuck in traffic, ya know? So I busted out the old Logitech headset-with-mic that I haven’t used since WoW raiding days of yore, and I gave it a whirl for the first time this morning.

OH MY GOD. This isn’t even close to language. It honestly reminds me of the linguistic disorder I learned about during college called Wernicke’s Aphasia, in which a certain area of the speech center of the brain is damaged in such a way that patients retain animated, fluid speech that is completely content-less and incoherent. A nickname of this syndrome is “word salad“.

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that my voice dictation software needs a wee bit of training before it accurately captures my speech. You can’t make this shit up, people. Enjoy.

Good morning I’m currently working on Asian spies is a little bit reengineering however,.

I have no idea Latin American 1110. I know that I know he is. I know there’s a lot of know if you

everyone is getting done in.

In an online dating? Congratulations and that no one can and that if you give.

And I would leave you. If there is? Difficult mountain.


Waiting for a late-night everything? No I’m not minimum. You and your women noted by you. The diagram that you doesn’t mean you’re writing your danger personality enlightened on a brand-new look at all of your photograph exhibit name marble on the lottery. There is no need to go back to year of of the mainstream not been any young you begin here know. Usually Baden-Württemberg you know, the one in which you genuinely enjoying yourself, that was your you and your winning I’m you ever do you mean, you are using your picture and the a lot of John you are right the beauty of digital cameras being a mean we you know when you zoom into the living room you.

We know he means it when you knew you were the one I didn’t know I you never really know that you do you mine. You need me to write it down when I heard 1. However, the remaining years of online meeting you in your you are you reasonable me know if you, or newly named online. You never really know if you get a airport, the little white lie already you may how do you know you are you. However he is the you, you you you you you you you you, you invited me. I leaned that you didn’t find the other person wonderful, were a worry anyway not right for you. You are the you are reading now start, to know if you are you are oh you are you. I normally, though, if you’re going to be easy,

And… scene.


  1. “However he is the you, you you you you you you you you, you invited me. I leaned that you didn’t find the other person wonderful”

    My brain wants so badly to make this make sense! It’s like a fever dream.

  2. I know! I can’t for the life of me figure out what I was actually saying during that stretch. I think your Facebook guess is about as close as it gets!

    My fave is still, “And I would leave you. If there is? Difficult mountain.”

  3. I think I can almost entirely attribute this to my own failure to properly train it, and the fact that some minimal training was done in a quiet home whereas the dictation was done in a car on my commute, with traffic noise.

    Grant got his copy working great for at-home dictations. I just may need to try and train the thing while parked in my car somewhere noisy. :)

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