You smell like Bapple Candy

So the Ben Lee concert this weekend was awesome. I don’t know why the fuck I was going on about the muffin man earlier but forgot to mention BEN LEE. It was so cute and sweet, it was a really great energied, intimate show, and he played the one song that my I have a love-hate relationship with (and that my roommate and concert-buddy had a hate-hate relationship with) only he said once it was written wrong on a concert program and it was called “Bapple Candy” instead of “Apple Candy” and he went off on this funny tangent about how different our development would be as a whole if the word were really Bapple; i.e. Johnny Bappleseed and a bapple a day, and if Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had named their kid “Bapple”…. sigh, it was a hilariously great show. He crushed rose petals over everyone’s head in his band. But by the way, the opener sucked and it was sad. She was like “this is a song called… “Yes”… and proceeded to play/sing the exact same song she’d been playing/singing for the previous 20 minutes. Yes, I am being bitchy. No, I couldn’t get up there and play “Yes” for 20 minutes. No, I’m not being fair. No, I’ve never written a song. No, I have no right to criticize. Yes, I’m doing it anyway. “Yes”.

And by the way, to Dana the girl who randomly introduced herself in the ladies room and insisted I try her vanilla cigarette while I was waiting for a stall, you are awesome and it is people like you whom I will feel bad for when the smoking ban finally goes into place, despite the fact that my throat is still killing me two days later. You go vanilla girl. And also, a couple got engaged at the show, and it was sooooo cute, but here’s the thing – if someone gets up onstage at a concert of your joint-favorite-performer (he said Ben Lee’s music had been “instrumental in the development of their relationship” or something cute and too wordy like that) and asks you to marry them in front of an entire crowd and said performer on a stage at Chop Suey, you don’t exactly get to say no, do you? I mean, you have to say yes, and then if you really meant no, you have to tell your sweetheart no later, when there aren’t HUNDREDS of people watching you expectantly, you know? That said, my roommate said that’d be her ideal proposal. Me, I don’t know – I’m the deer-in-headlights type, so I bet it wouldn’t go over so well with me because I’d just stand there with my jaw hanging open and come on, that’s not what the people paid to see! This is, of course, a direly important debate, given ALL THE SUITORS KNOCKING DOWN MY DOOR BEGGING FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE and all. wtf.

P.S. To the bartender who looked genuinely *shocked* and borderline upset when I tipped him $2 for a $4 beer in a plastic cup, I was just being nice – it’s okay to be tipped a little bit extra by nice girls who think you are cute. You looked like you were going to have some serious guilt issues regarding that extra dollar. I wish you well in making well-thought-out purchase with it. Don’t let it upset you – I wasn’t trying to make your life harder!

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