Working in a multilingual environment sometimes makes using normal Office products difficult. This is quite possibly the most useful and least random blog post I’ve ever composed – can you tell I’ve been running into some bilingual frustrations lately? This weird little polyglot guide will help you fix the auto-correction insanity that sometimes takes over and makes your French look like English, or your English look like Spanish, or your Catalan look like a terrifyingly inaccurate hybrid of any of the above.

• In Word 2007, select the Office button (upper left corner, looks like Office logo) and Word Options
• In Word 2010, select File and Options
• In Excel 2007, select the Office button (upper left again) and Excel Options
• In Excel 2010, select File and Options
• In Outlook 2010, select File and Options, then Mail tab, then Editor Options button
• In Outlook 2007, select Tools, then Options, then Mail Format tab, then Editor Options button

Select Proofing tab, then AutoCorrect Options button

Uncheck the box Replace text as you type

Select OK for the AutoCorrect window.

Quick bilingual task check-in: This is a good time to make sure options like Enforce accented uppercase in French, Traditional/new spellings, and tuteo/voseo verb forms are set according to your organization’s style guide. (I’m sure there are some even more in-depth settings for certain languages, like German, that have had spelling reform.) It’s also a good time to make sure the dictionary language is set appropriately (Word and Excel), even though this is likely to change with your next bilingual task. I also like to make sure Ignore words in UPPERCASE and Ignore words that contain numbers are unchecked so I don’t accidentally miss anything that these options would mask. Lastly, every once in a while I run into AutoFormat frustrations — like with French apostrophes causing smart quotes to face the wrong way — so that can be another good section to pop in and disable, if applicable.

Now select OK again for the Options window.

All done!

With these steps, emails and docs can be a little more work since you aren’t likely to have your typos fixed while you type, but it’ll ensure greater accuracy. (Spell check and grammar check will still underline things that are wrong so you can spot unintentional errors and fix them manually. However, you’ll have to bid adieu to the automatically inserted graphical smiley face.) You can always re-enable these options to get your programs back to “normal.” Happy detail-oriented editing!

Obviously, this is far from linguistically comprehensive. (And don’t get me started on browser-tab-language-insanity.) I’m sure there are languages with even more frustrating quirks – anyone out there care to comment? (Spontaneous Tomato, perhaps?)

I was a relatively early adopter of the Cult of iPhone. Grant bought me a first-gen model a few months after it was released, and I’ve been an addict ever since. (I’m sure there are some fantastic other smartphones out there, but my 1st gen, 3GS and now 4S have never made me want to switch, even with some minor AT&T frustrations.) I have been using the sync functionality for a certain, limited number of podcasts since the first time I set up my first iPhone in 2007. I like sync. Sync used to like me back. So why, all of a sudden, does sync now suck?

Ever since I set up the 4S (as a brand new phone and not from a backup, just to be extrasupercareful not to import any glitches of yore) my sync functionality has been broken. iTunes regularly tries to load podcasts that I manually added once for a trip and then intentionally manually removed. This kicks me over the space limit and thus screws up some other syncery. It also attempts to sync to my phone even when I haven’t asked it to, even though I have all the relevant options un-checked. It thinks my phone is plugged in when it isn’t and thinks it isn’t when it is. It repeatedly says “The sync session failed to finish because the sync failed to start.” after I select the option to, ya know, sync. Half my podcasts that I do try to sync show up as greyed-out not-really-present content, which seems to mean they helpfully take up space but aren’t actually available for listening. If I then try to download one of these greyed-out podcasts that didn’t actually make it onto the phone via the iTunes app, the app frequently thinks the content is already downloaded and won’t let me grab it. When the app does allow me to download content that appears greyed-out on the phone,  iTunes on the PC then freaks out the next time I sync, as if it can’t handle this alternative reality in which its process didn’t work the first time around and there are now two copies of the same content. I’ve memorized the slightly obscure process to manually delete the phone’s last backup, but it never seems to help. I restart my computer more than ever now in order to try to combat these Appley problems, but to no avail. I’ve become familiar with error messages I’ve never seen before in my life, and I’m now accustomed to each sync attempt taking 45 minutes and at least three tries. I’m considering actually restoring my phone over this — yes, my approximately two and a half week old phone.

WTF? Where did sync go so very wrong? (And before Merlin Mann can get preachy about it, I should add that I don’t use iCloud, largely thanks to his prescient observations about its limitations.) I wonder how many other fairly savvy users are running into new glitches with old processes like I am. Siri doesn’t seem to understand my frustration, but at least I’ve trained her to curse on my behalf about it.

Look, this is sappy. It might be better represented on my Loveblog. But you know what? I’m posting it here. Take that, Internet.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve lusted after the ridiculously well-adorned beds from catalog bedrooms. You know, with a gabillion pillows and comforters two sizes too big and things called “shams” and the like — well beyond the scope of what feels like a justifiably normal bed. But I wanted SO BAD for my own bed to be all excessive and overly-pillowed and put-together like that.

My husband is terribly indulgent. In my grown-ass state, I’ve started insisting on this fancybed thing. I can’t purchase a duvet cover without also purchasing matching shams, sometimes also necessitating the purchase of auxiliary pillows. Sheets must be attractive, and must be applied (like my mother taught me) such that the decorated side faces the mattress, so that when you turn them down the pretty parts show. Those grandparent-evoking Side Sleeper Memory Foam Tempurpedic monstrosities we both sleep on must be covered in silk pillowcases and hidden behind much prettier non-medical-looking pillowry. I’m like two notches short of being a Ruffled Neck Roll lady. (Okay, not quite, but you know what I’m talking about.)

So check this baby out. We actually sleep in that. That’s a discount West Elm duvet cover and sham set he kindly let me buy on clearance even though we truly don’t need it, paired with an Amy Butler organic sheet set I scored for $30 (and which retails for like $200). I was so pleased with myself over how cool it looked that I made the bed all fancypants like this with interesting color combinations (shut up; ignore the wall; shut up) to show every bit of neat flowery trim. So, yes,  this particular installation is my work.

But you know what? Ever since I whined at Grant about how sane and put-together and calm and anti-insomniac and deliciously ADULT having a well-made fancypants bed makes me feel, he’s gone out of his way to make up the bed like this nearly every morning since we moved into our new house in March. (That’s the first time we’ve really had a bedroom that *deserved* it.) And sure, he likes it all pretty, but HE doesn’t get into a tizzy if it’s sloppy. No, that’s all me. But I get up earlier. So he takes time out of his Rushy McImportantMeeting mornings to make it look like this every day.

How friggin’ great is that!? He’s willing to indulge me in this one irritatingly specific thing on a freakishly regular basis, even though he’s quite likely to trip on a pair of shoes I’ve left in the entryway on his way out the door. I’ve got it good, that’s all I’m saying. Off to go scour discount stores for more bargain designer sheets now. Love ya, honey. ♥ Don’t forget to make the bed.

When I had Grant help design/redesign/build this vr.com site, I wasn’t totally clear what I wanted. Basically, I knew I needed a portal for my occasional blog posts that didn’t fall under heliotro.pe, framboi.se or loveb.ug, but beyond that I also wanted it to serve as a sort of “all about Virginia” portal that easily linked readers to my entire online writing/social presence. But, other than the Twitter list feed thingy at left, I couldn’t quite figure out how to swing that “truly Everything Virginia Writes Ever” concept all in one place — the user would still have to follow individual links to my other blogs, and would actually have to go several links deep for some of them.

I couldn’t think of how to resolve this, but good old C had an idea. He said Yahoo Pipes was exactly what I needed. And I think he’s right, except — those things are DAMN hard to figure out! The interface is fascinating but tricky — I feel like I’m playing some shitty web game from the early 90s. And yet, it does cool things, once you get past the clunky user experience. I finally managed to piece together how to pull a basic pipe full of all my blog and Twitter RSS feeds, which is awesome (but still not perfect — the initial data pull didn’t factor in the timestamps of anything, so it’s an awkward mess of frontloaded-2006 content, and adding in new subscriptions produces a similar dump o’ content). But when I started trying to add stuff like Facebook status updates and YouTube videos, things got even more complicated.

Sigh. I can tell this is a really cool tool that’s like THISCLOSE to being incredibly useful and helpful, but the learning curve to figure out how to get it to do exactly what I want is just a tiny bit too steep, at least given my minimal free time and the fact that I spend all my tech savviness troubleshooting similar issues at my day job. Plus, services like Facebook seem to go out of their way to hide the code behind useful feeds like I want to pull, so I have to browse all sorts of weird web hacks from several Facebook configuration iterations ago, which of course doesn’t always turn out like I want. Anyway. I feel like a programmer. Only like a really bad one.

Oh, and even though I have the pipe running into my RSS reader, I can’t figure out how to implement the feed on this site such that a list of all my updates shows up here in bloggity format, ya know? Anyway. I’m gonna go add my kittyflickr to the pipe; kitties always make Internet woes better, right? If ya feel like peeking at my pipe, though, it’s here.

It’s no secret that I’ve reacted poorly to the occasional advice column in the past, including one by Miss Manners herself. But I’m happy to say that I found her most recent column to be right on the nose. Particularly of note are the comments about eating soup with a fork, and making sure wedding gifters get their proper note of thanks. (Now, if only we could find out who gave us our breadmaker!?)

A dear recently engaged friend got a book of Miss Manners wedding etiquette (likely this delightfully-titled number), and she reported favorably on the strict rules with delightfully snarky explanations and commentary. I wish I’d known about this volume during my own engagement! Instead, I was going off a fun but outdated borrowed copy of Emily Post’s general etiquette from the 80s (with fun tips like how Grant should undoubtedly wear “a cutaway with tails” — thanks Anna!) and a TERRIBLE modernized version of the New Post Regime’s wedding-specific tips, which was filled with helpful bits such as “Some couples like to start a cash registry!” and “Some couples choose to notify guests via e-mail!” and other such clear, thoughtful statements on how to avoid any modern wedding faux pas. (Please note my sarcasm. That book was incredibly stupid and useless and had lots of advice for how to have a tacky, inappropriate wedding that would offend every guest over forty. To be fair, I won it at a wedding venue open house, so at least I didn’t lose any money!)

Aaanyway. I’m rambling. Go Judith. And please, breadmaker-givers, fess up already!

Back in the day, Kate Spade used to make some FANTASTIC bedding. I could never afford them, but I wanted one of her duvet sets sooooo baaaad — there was one in hot pink, black and white (I know it sounds like Betsy Johnson On Crack In Bed, but stay with me) that had canvas textured designs on cotton, and it was like Barbie married Mondrian. In a good way. So classy and chic and clean yet still feminine and powerful but not enough to keep you from sleeping peacefully. Sigh. I can’t recall the name so it’s hard to find images, but I managed to wrangle this tiny pic from an old Kaboodle listing.

Apartment Therapy recently teased that a new Kate Spade bedding collection was forthcoming, so I’ve been eagerly awaiting more pictures. Well, today they delivered — and nearly all us readers compulsively retched. Ugh! I actually went so far as to whip up this blog post in distaste, partly so I could link to this image of what Kate Spade Bedding of Yore looked like in the AT comments. Sometimes new does not mean improved. I forget where, but I swear I read somewhere that Kate herself no longer actually designs for her line — and it shows.

Now that we’re about to be homeowners, with much more square footage to fill, I’ve started lustily browsing new furniture. I came across and subsequently fell in love with a new (to me) furniture designer — or rather, design duo — Charles and Ray Eames. Specifically, I’m obsessed with their office chairs.

I stumbled upon this red leather lobby chair at one of my favorite web shops, and I was in love.  A bit more research and poking around helped me discover even more Eames hits, namely the Aluminum Group and the Soft Pad Group. Obviously, these are highly pricey designer pieces — for goodness sake, the MoMA shop sells them, so you know they ain’t cheap. But I’m pleased to report that I found several sources of seemingly decent-quality knockoffs!

Crate and Barrel has this leather “Ripple” chair in ivory and black, CB2 (a modern cousin of Crate and Barrel) has a green cotton soft pad knockoff, and Z Gallerie has a couple vinyl knockoffs. I think I like the ivory C&B ones best… I mean, aside from an actual Herman Miller red leather Aluminum Exec for me, and a matching Management for my Loveb.ug clients to sit in. I’ll never be able or willing to shell out for the real thing! But knockoffs or not, I’m excited to learn more about this design school, and to find more mid-century modern knockoffs now that we have a house to furnish!

So I’ve been on a bit of a blog break, yes — it’s because we’re sort of maybe kind of attempting to buy a home, perhaps. (We’re still working on the details.)  But the prospect of a) having a garden again for the first time in almost 5 years, plus b) restoring our houseplant collection since last year’s engagement sort of left me so busy that I killed them all, well… it’s been Nursery Time for me!

Literally the only plants I had left were a couple sad succulents from my Copper Vine Groupon that had gone awry, and a tiny rubber plant whose last leaf fell off this week. (Oops.) So after some minor link-hopping, I discovered from re-nest that certain lovely-smelling plants would help us sleep better AND freshen the air, and certain other plants would help clean the air. Perfect excuse for a Molbak’s run to prep for our (fingers crossed) new house!

Because I didn’t want to get any HUGE new plants that would be traumatized by two trips in a row, I just limited it to a small sansivieria, a tiny jasmine polyanthus and a tiny gardenia bush. But in mucking about with those, I also got inspired to replant one of my succulents into a makeshift terrarium. (Which I then over-watered and traumatized, but I figured it’ll readjust and forgive me if I predictably ignore it for a while. It felt good to get dirt under my fingernails again for the first time in ages!

Grant and I were on a mini road trip this weekend, during which we briefly tuned in to Christmas music. Listening to all the predictable, same old tunes jingling about the various joys of the season, I had a sudden epiphany: I AM TOTALLY GOING TO WRITE A HIT CHRISTMAS CAROL. For real.

I don’t have a deeply technical musical background, but my dad was a music teacher and performer and he always made sure I had plenty of musical education growing up. I think holiday songs are just kitschy and catchy and silly enough to be my ticket to ride — in fact, we’re going to live off the royalties of my ditty, like About A Boy. So yep, I just officially added this to my bucket list. However, it might not drop until 2011 — I’ve got a lot to plan.

The other day I tasked my husband with buying “Organic Grade B Maple Syrup, but only if you can find it for cheap,” and he came home with this enormous jug for something like $12. Yahtzee! Clearly, I needed to use it for everything. Including ice cream. But while maple walnut was the first obvious choice, I wasn’t so sure about that…

See, thanks to growing up with my nut-obsessed dad, I finally developed a taste for the flavor of nuts, even though I didn’t care for the texture as a kid. I’ve figured out how to tolerate the texture as a grown-up  – both the texture of nuts themselves, and the fact that chunks of nut would ruin for me the texture of an otherwise perfectly creamy and smooth dessert (think fudge or ice cream). However, I generally prefer to avoid them unless I’m having a weird protein craving.

Hence, I desired to make maple walnut ice cream that tasted like maple walnut, without actual pieces of walnut in it. I remembered that I had come across a recipe that involved simmering the maple pieces in milk and then straining and using that milk to make the custard, so I decided to do the same. I Googled around and loosely based my concoction on this About.com recipe, but I swapped around the proportions a bit. Here’s roughly what I used:

1 1/2 c 2% milk, non-homogenized (this may have been a mistake)
1 cuppish chopped walnuts, covered in butter and sea salt and toasted in the oven for a while
3/4 heavy cream, which I whipped and folded in later
4 eggs, separated — I used the yolks in the custard but beat the whites and folded them in later

Well, I didn’t read the recipe so closely, and I wound up combining the maple syrup with the milk and walnuts to simmer. (Fun fact: if you Google “Does maple syrup curdle milk?” the first hit is this. Confusing, yet helpful.) That was an awful, ugly, curdled-up mess! But I managed to salvage it somehow, though the ice cream had a weird texture in which the fat sort of stood out from the other liquid. I think this is a function of both the curdling and the fact that my milk wasn’t homogenized. (I’m trying to only buy the hippie milk in the glass jars on which you pay a deposit, but I might reconsider for certain purposes after this adventure!)

Either way, it all turned out OK in the end! (And I’m omitting photos of the nasty curdled nutty mess because it looked kind of like someone threw up in a saucepan.) Thank goodness for eventual ice cream success — and no added sugar!