“Sorry, Not A Winner”

That’s what the lottery machine told me.?? But I believe strongly in the “3rd Time’s A Charm” rhetoric, so I’ll be purchasing my third-ever ticket sometime around my 25th birthday, I think.?? Doesn’t that seem like an appropriate time??? I thought so.

Know what else I’d like for my birthday (besides a fountain pen with tape flags built in)??? To never have to moderate another spam comment on my blog again.?? I know, that seems a little silly, but I’m sick of the weirdos – and the killer thing is, they don’t even include interesting links in their spam.?? At least I don’t think so; I’ve never actually clicked, but they don’t seem worthwhile.?? Couldn’t you at least link to some freaky barnyard animal porn or something if you’re going to fuck up my blog??? I mean, a little creativity, people!

So here’s one more thing I’d like for my birthday (I’m not sure why I start thinking about this sort of thing 2 months in advance; part of it is perhaps to adjust to the idea of being a Quarter Of A Century Old, but part is just because I’m a present whore, I think)… I need a name for my advice column.?? That’d be a good (early) gift – early because I kind of want it to debut this week as I already have a few entries (thanks to those of you who already submitted me things!)… so the current #1 candidate for name is “Off Culler” – see, I’m a huge fan of puns AND cliches so this is kind of the best of both worlds, but I worry that people won’t get it.?? What do y’all think?

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