There was just an interoffice email hoopla about whether we can call our Xmas bonuses “Xmas bonuses” or if they have to be “holiday bonuses”. Aside from the obvious WTFCJGMMM (who the f*ck cares just give me my money) response, it lends a different question – does “Xmas” sound dirty to anyone else? Like perhaps we’re celebrating the Carnal of Christmas – the fact that, come on, in all likelihood Virgin Mary got a lil’ tipsy on spiked egg nogg, had dirty X-mas sex and got knocked up, freaked out and lied about it, and thus started a religion. Who’s with me? I know B and N are from our wonderful Sevilla trip for semana santa 2002, during which our signature phrase WWVMD (what would Virgin Mary do) got coined (it’ll be a multimillion-dollar empire someday, just you wait and see) but seriously – X-mas. Makes me think of those naughty girls in the background of the video for that “Christmas is All Around Us” song from Love Actually – or the time Ally McBeal sang Santa Baby – or, well, the fact that babies come from sex. It sounds like one of those readerboards the Lusty Lady would come up with. I dunno. “Have a very adult Christmas, from your friends at Strap Ons, Inc.” or something. X-mas, indeed. For shame.
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