So once again, someone didn’t pick up on my joking for an uncomfortably long time. Someone saw my Nalgene full of sour cherry juice mixed with water (freaky health-food thing that’s dark red and semi-opaque) and asked me what it was. I told him it was blood. I really think it took him a full five seconds to realize I’m kidding. I know that may seem like a short time, but count it out to yourself for a sec here… one Mississippi two Mississippi three Mississippi four Mississippi five Mississippi. (Feel free to substitute “alligator”, “one-thousand”, “Armageddon”, “Paris Hilton’s baby” – whatever floats your boat). That’s a long time to not catch a punchline when it’s REFERENCING MY BEING A BLOODTHIRSTY VAMPIRE. I was KIDDING.
So I implore of you, less-imaginary readers who actually know me and my in-person sense of humor – do I need to work on it being more clearly a joke? Or were both of the guys in question in this and my previous post just idiots? (Signs point to the latter, in my opinion…. but that’s where y’all come in). I mean, I guess I think part of the humor – okay, most – is saying such things with a straight face. That’s what makes it funny. And I always break EVENTUALLY – you all know I have the world’s worst poker face. Except when I’m actually playing poker – then I’m hot shit. But still – isn’t that kind of the point of this sort of humor, to say it like you’re serious, even though you’re OBVIOUSLY not? Am I that scary that people think I drink blood?
I await your e-tally with bloodthirsty vengeance, I mean eagerness.