again with the sarcastic misinterpretations!

So once again, someone didn’t pick up on my joking for an uncomfortably long time. Someone saw my Nalgene full of sour cherry juice mixed with water (freaky health-food thing that’s dark red and semi-opaque) and asked me what it was. I told him it was blood. I really think it took him a full five seconds to realize I’m kidding. I know that may seem like a short time, but count it out to yourself for a sec here… one Mississippi two Mississippi three Mississippi four Mississippi five Mississippi. (Feel free to substitute “alligator”, “one-thousand”, “Armageddon”, “Paris Hilton’s baby” – whatever floats your boat). That’s a long time to not catch a punchline when it’s REFERENCING MY BEING A BLOODTHIRSTY VAMPIRE. I was KIDDING.

So I implore of you, less-imaginary readers who actually know me and my in-person sense of humor – do I need to work on it being more clearly a joke? Or were both of the guys in question in this and my previous post just idiots? (Signs point to the latter, in my opinion…. but that’s where y’all come in). I mean, I guess I think part of the humor – okay, most – is saying such things with a straight face. That’s what makes it funny. And I always break EVENTUALLY – you all know I have the world’s worst poker face. Except when I’m actually playing poker – then I’m hot shit. But still – isn’t that kind of the point of this sort of humor, to say it like you’re serious, even though you’re OBVIOUSLY not? Am I that scary that people think I drink blood?

I await your e-tally with bloodthirsty vengeance, I mean eagerness.