Apples and Oranges… and Roadkill

I just got a strange phone call at work. Apparently I won a hotel and airfare inclusive, 3-day trip for two, to my choice of three destinations: Jamaica, Cancun, or… Vegas.

Seriously. THOSE are the three options? I mean, that’s like offering a trip to Auckland, NZ; Paris, France; or MILWAUKEE. Okay, maybe I’m just biased and hate Vegas unnecessarily. After all, I’ve only been there once for less than 48 hours, and I was underage, and with my mom, and between the fact that on the second quarter she popped she won $50 and was thus convinced that gambling was going to pay my college tuition, and the fact that I got carded whenever we tried to gamble on not-machines, and the fact that the noise of the quarters and light-up machines made our bones rattle until she wept at any slightly aggressive tone of voice and I couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering even in the heat, and the fact that people literally commented on my breasts every time I walked on the SIDEWALK in DAYLIGHT and assumed we were lesbian partners, and the fact that I mistook hooker ads for a normal newspaper and had it pointed out to me by a bus driver, and the fact that I saw a topless show with my MOTHER because there was literally nothing to do that didn’t involve topless women… maybe I just haven’t had the opportunity to give Vegas a fair chance. Whatever.

But seriously folks, back to the story at hand – I and my boyfried or friend, may or may not be going to Jamaica or Cancun. Rad! I am excited about mangoes. Like how that’s the first thing I think of about such a trip? Seriously, that was my first thought on the whole thing – MANGOES. Second came, this has to be a freakin’ hoax, or at least it has to cost me money somehow. Third, how did this chick get my work number? Fourth, wait a freakin’ minute – I entered a drawing to win a CAR. Fifth, back to MANGOES. Mmm, mmm mangoes. They don’t grow those in Vegas, baby.

Anyway, as far as I can tell (which isn’t very, sadly), it ain’t no hoax. And there’s no time limit on redeeming this, so I don’t even have to deal with it right now. Now THAT’S a nice contest! Jamaica/Cancun 2007, baby.

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