So holy shit, I just had the most excruciating yet funny yet back to excruciating elevator ride back up to my floor after lunch. I get on downstairs and this new, incredibly dorky security guard for my building (the Bank of America Tower, aka Axis of Evil) gets in, along with these two ridiculously hooched-out giggly teenage girls with fake Coach purses in weird colors (no white after Labor Day, ladies) and those awful little shrugs that are so trendy-but-going-out and waaaaay too much lip gloss and the like, and they’re all flirting and fawning over INCREDIBLY dorky security guard (the guy looks like he’s twelve and he has a BOWL CUT, for Chrissakes) and he’s totally eating it up because I’m guessing he doesn’t always get that kind of attention from The Ladies so anyway, they’re like, oh my gosh, I’m nervous, I’m scared, tee hee hee, and he’s all poking fun at them for being afraid of heights, and they’re all marveling about how their ears pop in the elevator and all…. the punchline’s coming soon, I promise, wait for it… so in all the chitchat there’s talk of, like, so, do you, like, get paid to do this? And the kid says – I shit you not – well, actually, during the winter the O-DECK is closed so we have to escort people up…
I kid not. THE O-DECK. I mean, sure, we have some abbreviations and acronyms (alliteration unintended) in my line of work ??? we say ROGs instead of Interrogatories, PSAs instead of Property Settlement Agreements???.. but, dude, it is the OBSERVATION DECK. And you just started a week ago, and you don???t look old enough to DRIVE, and wasn???t there a boy band called O-Town a while back? The O-Deck. Priceless. That???ll get me through the rest of the day at the L-Fi, I mean, Law Firm.
??PS so I sent this to my roommate just to cheer her up and she totally reminded me of something I had thought of but forgotten to include in my blogger’s haste – so I totally almost asked the kid if he made his O-Face on the O-Deck.?? Ya know, like in Office Space.?? O…?? O…?? O?? ….
Man, I gotta re-view that movie.?? Anyone wanna have an Office Space party??? Bring your best O-Face!?? But no gutting fish in my living room, that would be stinky.??
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